Sunday, 03 May 2009
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i need more Grace than i thought.
Brittani died yesterday. God's been being a douchebag the past three years. I don't understand why he couldn't have waited an extra, like, six days so she could graduate. She worked so hard for that. Her dog has been asleep in my bed all night. She's been shaking a lot. I really think she knows.
This whole thing is so unreal. I'm waiting for her to call me and be like "jk!" Ugh. Yesterday, during the service thing they had for her when everyone found out, I kept wanting to text her and be like "omg there are so many people here." haha. I have no idea who I'm going to tell all of my random things to now.
I feel like I have to be the strong one and be the mother or something. I don't know what else to do.
[I think it's appropriate to update my xanga since we always joked about how we need to do that when something random happened, especially recently.]
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Comments (5)
My father died on a Saturday, and it didn't hit me really hard right then. It hit me hard about 5:15 on Monday evening, when he didn't come home from work. And then again the next day.
Now it's been thirteen years, and I have a job of my own. I live in a different house, with a wife instead of my mother. And still, every once in a while, it feels like it's time for dad to come home.
I don't know who Britanni is to you (sister? friend?), but God I hope you'll pull through this okay. Whatever exactly that means.
I'm still waiting for you to text me telling me it's all a joke.
Sierra,
I'm so so sorry that this has happened. My heart breaks for you. I've been thinking about you a lot, and when I do I pray for God to provide for you.
Love,
Tim
Sorrry to read about the bad news.